Thursday, November 22, 2007

How Romney's "Mormon Speech" Could Be Handled

There was a humorous article in the Deseret News about what Mitt’s “Mormon Question” response would be like. I thought only a few comments were funny, including:

Why is this press conference starting 10 minutes late?

It was scheduled to start at 9 a.m. MST — Mormon Standard Time. MST is about 10 minutes later than the rest of the world. Most BYU football fans, for instance, have never heard "The Star Spangled Banner."

Can you discuss the widespread rumor that Mormon men are subjected to horrible violence and unspeakable ugliness regularly in the Mormon culture?

I'm not here to talk about church ball. Not in front of the women anyway. Next question.

Do Mormons still drive wagons on the roads?

Please, that's the Amish gig! We do like vans and Suburbans, though — aka the Mormon Cadillac.

As a long shot, how do you ever expect to move to the White House?

The Elders Quorum.

Following after these comments, I thought to add my own Q&A all in good fun:

Why do you make such unfunny jokes about Polygamy?

My wife asked me that the other night. My response was that the best way to bring up a serious topic is with humor, but I am no comedian. She then told me no kidding.

Some would say if you become President that you would take orders from Salt Lake City. Is that true?

Look, my wife’s cooking is good, but not that good. Besides, we eat out most of the time. As for the real answer to your question, getting a member of the church to do anything is like herding cats. I’m not sure why I would be any different.

Did you avoid the draft by going on a mission?

Luckily I brought some warm clothes because some of the apartments we lived in were real dives. Serving a mission was no picnic. We were Americans . . . in France.

Will you have a lot of Mormons on your staff?

Not as many as JFK, Eisenhower, or Reagan. I served my time as Bishop and Stake President and am ready for a change.

You were an ecclesiastical leader in the Mormon Church. What did you do during that time?

When I wasn’t helping people out, I was taking a nap on the podium. When I was speaking, the congregation was taking a nap.

Why don’t you talk about Mormon theology more?

See my answer to the above question.

How will your Mormonism influence you as President of the United States?

There will be longer meetings. Sunday and Monday will be days off. State funerals will have lots of casserole served. Other than that, business as usual.


annegb said...


ogre said...

Jettboy, just to follow up on your comment over at Internal Monolog...

It looks likely that Mitt really did say something that dimwitted and blatantly unconstitutional.

The link in the Huff Post piece says,

The witness, Irma Aguirre, a former finance director of the Nevada Republican Party, paraphrased Romney as saying: "They're radical. There's no talking to them. There's no negotiating with them."

A second witness, a self-described local registered Republican named George Harris, confirmed her account.

Multiple witnesses, by name, and a statement that--in any form--sounds like religious bigotry. You'd think a Mormon would know better.

Jettboy said...

I actually agree with Romney if he said what this lady did about Muslims, rather than what that one guy did in the op-ed. Muslims have consistantly and without enough evidence to the contrary proved that its followers (those with any power, voice, and influence) are radical terrorists that cannot be reasoned with. For that reason alone I question if Muslims can uphold the U.S. Constitution and still follow the kind of faith its representatives seem to have.

And, as evidence this is not mere bigotry without evidence, I don't have that same question about Scientologists and recently I have had the same question for Evangelical Christians. In other words, what the ladies's quotation (and there is evidence she is an anti-Romney operative anyway) does it put that op-ed both into perspective and even more into question. In other words, you haven't proven anything to me to make me trust the op-ed any more than I had before. In fact, I will say the only way I will believe it is if someone gets that or similar quotes ON TAPE in context! Otherwise, no matter how many "witnesses" come out, I don't believe it. I am political that way :) in today's "gottcha sound bite" world where perception is more important that reality.